⭕Lore

Okay, so, yaaaawn, let me tell you about this crazy thing that happened in our jungle. There was this guy Flash, a total speed freak, who thought he was the king of sports predictions. Dude was making calls faster than I blinked, which, admittedly, takes me about 30 seconds.

Every single day, Flash would be bouncing around like he had seventeen espressos, screaming about Manchester United at lunch, then switching to Arsenal by teatime, and suddenly it was all about some random tennis match nobody cared about. His followers ate it up, but honestly, the guy was wrong more often than my weather app.

Meanwhile, up here in my favorite branch, which by the way has the perfect amount of afternoon shade, I’ve been watching the same teams for, oh, I don’t know, months maybe years? Time’s kinda fuzzy when you’re this chill. Anyway, I noticed Liverpool always gets cranky in December. Something about the cold, I think.

So when Flash starts going mental about Liverpool being absolutely unstoppable against some random team, I’m just hanging there thinking, Buddy, it’s December 20th and it’s raining. Liverpool’s gonna have a bad time. Took me about three hours to slowly type out my prediction, but hey, Liverpool 1, Other Team 2. Called it.

Flash’s people were like How and I’m like, I literally just watched them play for two years straight. They hate December. Also, their left-back always gets homesick around Christmas.

Word got around very slowly because we sloths don’t exactly use the group chat much, and suddenly, other laid-back sports watchers started hanging out in our tree. We called ourselves the League of Sloths mostly because we couldn’t be bothered to think of anything more extraordinary.

We built this prediction platform where you can actually take your time to think. No rush, no pressure. Flash joined eventually, and it took him a while to slow down enough to actually watch the games instead of just shouting at them.

Moral of the story? The loudest monkeys get the most bananas, but we sloths get the predictions right. And honestly, that’s way less exhausting.

Want in? Cool. Just take your time deciding. We’ll be here. We’re always here. 🦥